- learn how to cycle.
- watch U2 perform live.
- make my first million (pesos).
- go back to the City. (and gloat in his face. ha!)
- be financially independent enough to live on my own.
- travel to tibet.
- get published. (not architecture-related)
- learn (and be fully conversant in) a foreign language. (mandarin is acceptable)
- cross the equator.
- work as an intern (either in a publication or a kitchen!)
30 January 2007
to-do list (before i reach 30)
25 January 2007
20kg
it's a pain in the neck trying to relocate to another city when your luggage allowance is limited to one mid-sized suitcase. when i moved across two continents (okay, one and a half) back in 2005, i was able to bring almost twice as much with me. argh. baggage limits were more lenient then, before all those crazy terrorist threats with ipods and fanta bottles. plus, you are allowed more stuff when taking long-haul flights. and i guess it didn't hurt that i flew business class. oh well.
it's really difficult trying to prioritise your worldly possessions. for sure, there are bare necessities that you shouldn't go without. but i wonder how many shirts and trousers i would need for the meantime, not to mention shoes or sandals. then there are the objects of sentimental value. they're not exactly necessary, but they're important. factor in unknown return date, and you have a very tough maths problem.
moving is great. it's the packing that gets to me.
it's really difficult trying to prioritise your worldly possessions. for sure, there are bare necessities that you shouldn't go without. but i wonder how many shirts and trousers i would need for the meantime, not to mention shoes or sandals. then there are the objects of sentimental value. they're not exactly necessary, but they're important. factor in unknown return date, and you have a very tough maths problem.
(X shirts + X trousers + X footwear) / Y months = 20kg ± 10%
moving is great. it's the packing that gets to me.
22 January 2007
hangover without the alcohol
sakit ng ulo ko. leche.
i had tea at 5pm yesterday, at the coffee bean & tea leaf. and i wasn't able to fall asleep until 4.30am this morning. when i opened my eyes it was half past nine, and i realised i had a shitload of calls to make regarding my flight out later this week. so i forced myself out of bed despite my pseudo-inebriated state.
sakit rin ng tyan ko. ugh.
i'm going back to bed. i've done what i needed to do. wake me up when it's 5pm.
i had tea at 5pm yesterday, at the coffee bean & tea leaf. and i wasn't able to fall asleep until 4.30am this morning. when i opened my eyes it was half past nine, and i realised i had a shitload of calls to make regarding my flight out later this week. so i forced myself out of bed despite my pseudo-inebriated state.
sakit rin ng tyan ko. ugh.
i'm going back to bed. i've done what i needed to do. wake me up when it's 5pm.
20 January 2007
get. off. my. back.
GOOD LORD.
what does a girl need to do to get some independence in this household??? kill myself, most likely.
after the episode with mother last night - she got upset about my booking a flight that lands at an insane hour - my sister calls this morning and gives me an earful. and then the firm keeps bugging me to go over ASAP. which i would be more than glad to do, honestly. but NOOOOOOOOOOOO. the family must know EVERY. SINGLE. DECISION. i make. when i'm flying out, where i will be staying, how i will get there, when i will start work, when i will get to live in the office apartment, how will i get the keys, etc etc etc. GODDAMMIT. not everything needs to be planned out to the last SECOND, OKAY?!?!? so what if i booked a flight that arrives midnight in the middle of the work week? i'll get on nicely, thank you. i HAVE lived on my own for, oh, i don't know, OVER TWELVE MONTHS, haven't i? and that's WITHOUT ANY RELATIVES WITHIN SPITTING DISTANCE. i have to say, that was the best time of my life. to not have someone breathing down my neck every five minutes.
maybe i should just make plans and not let them know and disappear from their lives for the next ten years. i'll probably do something like that once i'm on my own, anyway. they need to realise that it is MY life. and that i am more than capable of taking care of myself.
i am SOOOOOOOO moving out of this nuthouse. for good.
what does a girl need to do to get some independence in this household??? kill myself, most likely.
after the episode with mother last night - she got upset about my booking a flight that lands at an insane hour - my sister calls this morning and gives me an earful. and then the firm keeps bugging me to go over ASAP. which i would be more than glad to do, honestly. but NOOOOOOOOOOOO. the family must know EVERY. SINGLE. DECISION. i make. when i'm flying out, where i will be staying, how i will get there, when i will start work, when i will get to live in the office apartment, how will i get the keys, etc etc etc. GODDAMMIT. not everything needs to be planned out to the last SECOND, OKAY?!?!? so what if i booked a flight that arrives midnight in the middle of the work week? i'll get on nicely, thank you. i HAVE lived on my own for, oh, i don't know, OVER TWELVE MONTHS, haven't i? and that's WITHOUT ANY RELATIVES WITHIN SPITTING DISTANCE. i have to say, that was the best time of my life. to not have someone breathing down my neck every five minutes.
maybe i should just make plans and not let them know and disappear from their lives for the next ten years. i'll probably do something like that once i'm on my own, anyway. they need to realise that it is MY life. and that i am more than capable of taking care of myself.
i am SOOOOOOOO moving out of this nuthouse. for good.
19 January 2007
blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
mother at peak of irritating behaviour today. probably because of my declaration that i will be leaving this stinkin' island in the coming week. she was asking about my plans, etc etc. when i will be leaving, how the housing is being arranged, blah blah blah.
she walks in while i was in the middle of blogging, and asks "how now?" we both know very well what she means, but she narrows down the choices by following up with, "how are your flights?" (that's the literal translation form chinese. essentially she is asking what has been done about it.) so i, unnerved, said that there is nothing yet. and she walks out, shutting the door behind her. (almost, anyway. the door sags and never fully closes when pulled gently.) at which point i decided that i should just as well book my tickets even without a response from my sister with whom i am supposed to stay for a few nights. so i went and booked a return flight on a budget airline, even though it arrives midnight. i don't care. i can always crash with a friend on the first night, i figured. they are usually awake at that hour, while my sister and brother-in-law are not.
i don't understand my family. my parents, especially. my mother, in particular. she wants me to stay, she whines and feels bad if i tell her i want to go away. but upon my return, my room has been turned upside-down and my things are missing. prior to my leaving, they bug me with all sorts of questions as if they are itching to get rid of me.
i don't know if it's the way my family speaks, or if it's simply my perception. every question is loaded. a sampling of common questions and what they mean.
she walks in while i was in the middle of blogging, and asks "how now?" we both know very well what she means, but she narrows down the choices by following up with, "how are your flights?" (that's the literal translation form chinese. essentially she is asking what has been done about it.) so i, unnerved, said that there is nothing yet. and she walks out, shutting the door behind her. (almost, anyway. the door sags and never fully closes when pulled gently.) at which point i decided that i should just as well book my tickets even without a response from my sister with whom i am supposed to stay for a few nights. so i went and booked a return flight on a budget airline, even though it arrives midnight. i don't care. i can always crash with a friend on the first night, i figured. they are usually awake at that hour, while my sister and brother-in-law are not.
i don't understand my family. my parents, especially. my mother, in particular. she wants me to stay, she whines and feels bad if i tell her i want to go away. but upon my return, my room has been turned upside-down and my things are missing. prior to my leaving, they bug me with all sorts of questions as if they are itching to get rid of me.
i don't know if it's the way my family speaks, or if it's simply my perception. every question is loaded. a sampling of common questions and what they mean.
- where are you going? - you're going out again?!?!
- what's happening with that job offer of yours? - you're still unemployed???
- what's for dinner? - you're cooking, aren't you?
- are you busy? - can you do something for me?
- when are you leaving? - aren't you supposed to be gone yet?
old shoeboxes
i have resolved to clean up my room before go to work abroad. that means putting everything in neat little boxes, so when the time comes for me to move out permanently, it won't be so difficult. besides, my mom had made a mess of my room while i was away (hardly a year in-between visits!) that i really need to sort my things out. i suppose my mother cannot be completely to blame. i DID leave my room pretty much a mess when i left back in 2005. but i share the blame with my older sister, who has not lived at home for - oh, i don't know - over five years. it is actually the presence of her junk that made me decide to pack up for good. i don't want anyone else to feel the irritation i felt while going through endless mounds of stuff that belong to someone who has not been around for half a decade.
but i digress. in the process of cleaning up, i chanced upon my childhood and teen-age treasures. and i actually surprised myself with how much of my high school years i remembered. things that i never thought of all these years - memories i forgot i had - just started surfacing. i suppose that's the whole point of keepsakes, souvenirs and memorabilia. they help you bring back thoughts which you would have otherwise discarded. and it feels safe to know that at the end of the day, a few years down the road... something will remind you of a place, an event, a person, or even a feeling that you once had.
in a way, it becomes yesterday once more.
but i digress. in the process of cleaning up, i chanced upon my childhood and teen-age treasures. and i actually surprised myself with how much of my high school years i remembered. things that i never thought of all these years - memories i forgot i had - just started surfacing. i suppose that's the whole point of keepsakes, souvenirs and memorabilia. they help you bring back thoughts which you would have otherwise discarded. and it feels safe to know that at the end of the day, a few years down the road... something will remind you of a place, an event, a person, or even a feeling that you once had.
in a way, it becomes yesterday once more.
14 January 2007
rotfwl
you have to read this. it is the epitome of filipino wit and humour. i have not laughed so hard in such a long time.
actually, i haven't laughed for quite a while. i'm glad there are still people out there who can amuse me immeasurably.
oh, and while you're at it, check out this video. got it in the mail a year ago, but it still cracks me up!
actually, i haven't laughed for quite a while. i'm glad there are still people out there who can amuse me immeasurably.
oh, and while you're at it, check out this video. got it in the mail a year ago, but it still cracks me up!
13 January 2007
yuck
overheard -
sister 1 : where's kuya?
sister 2 : with *girl's name*
sister 1 : yuck! na naman?
i thought i was the only one who had a problem with our brother's incessant fawning over his new, uh, prospect. i guess not. apparently, the female offspring in this household are more independent than the male.
it just hit me the other night how ridiculously often my brother goes out with this girl. as in almost every single night. and how much time they spend talking on the phone. like hours on end. and - get this - how they spend time talking until the wee hours of the morning RIGHT AFTER they've gone out. WHAT. THE. HECK?!?!
it's nice that a guy pays attention to a girl when they're going out, but this is ridiculous. i don't think i can survive that much scrutiny. alright, alright, i've spent quite a bit of time with the last one, but the truth of the matter is, we hardly went out on so-called dates. and we do not spend time chatting on the phone. we had our separate lives. (sometimes TOO separate, to be honest.) where the ex lacked in interest, the brother seems to possess an inordinate amount. it really just grosses me out. i'm sorry. all i can think of is - do you have a LIFE???
but, as the youngest sister puts it - they seem to both be needy and clingy, anyway. so they're happy. fair enough. i rationalise their behaviour by saying that the girl is leaving soon, and they are just making up for potential lost time. or whatever. but really. i would rather drop dead than have a guy be that infatuated with me. it just screams LOSER.
relationships aren't about not being able to survive without each other. it's about being able to survive with each other. and sometimes, it's even simply surviving each other. (admit it, there is always some annoying habit that drives you up the wall.) at the end of the day, i'd like to think that the guy i am with doesn't really need me, but simply chooses to be with me. because it means that any other girl would do fine, but he would rather have me. or maybe he thinks life alone may be good, but life with me is probably better. and that makes it a matter of choice, rather than a matter of circumstance.
it no longer becomes all about him, but about me. more than that, though, it becomes all about US. because it becomes a conscious decision to share everything, between two people.
sister 1 : where's kuya?
sister 2 : with *girl's name*
sister 1 : yuck! na naman?
i thought i was the only one who had a problem with our brother's incessant fawning over his new, uh, prospect. i guess not. apparently, the female offspring in this household are more independent than the male.
it just hit me the other night how ridiculously often my brother goes out with this girl. as in almost every single night. and how much time they spend talking on the phone. like hours on end. and - get this - how they spend time talking until the wee hours of the morning RIGHT AFTER they've gone out. WHAT. THE. HECK?!?!
it's nice that a guy pays attention to a girl when they're going out, but this is ridiculous. i don't think i can survive that much scrutiny. alright, alright, i've spent quite a bit of time with the last one, but the truth of the matter is, we hardly went out on so-called dates. and we do not spend time chatting on the phone. we had our separate lives. (sometimes TOO separate, to be honest.) where the ex lacked in interest, the brother seems to possess an inordinate amount. it really just grosses me out. i'm sorry. all i can think of is - do you have a LIFE???
but, as the youngest sister puts it - they seem to both be needy and clingy, anyway. so they're happy. fair enough. i rationalise their behaviour by saying that the girl is leaving soon, and they are just making up for potential lost time. or whatever. but really. i would rather drop dead than have a guy be that infatuated with me. it just screams LOSER.
relationships aren't about not being able to survive without each other. it's about being able to survive with each other. and sometimes, it's even simply surviving each other. (admit it, there is always some annoying habit that drives you up the wall.) at the end of the day, i'd like to think that the guy i am with doesn't really need me, but simply chooses to be with me. because it means that any other girl would do fine, but he would rather have me. or maybe he thinks life alone may be good, but life with me is probably better. and that makes it a matter of choice, rather than a matter of circumstance.
it no longer becomes all about him, but about me. more than that, though, it becomes all about US. because it becomes a conscious decision to share everything, between two people.
07 January 2007
life, liberty, and the american dream
cliche as it may sound, i think that's what i'm pursuing.
life on my own terms.
liberty from the expectations of those around me.
the american dream of making it in a new world, in a land of opportunity.
so i figured - where else to get all these than in the big apple?
nyc, here i come.
life on my own terms.
liberty from the expectations of those around me.
the american dream of making it in a new world, in a land of opportunity.
so i figured - where else to get all these than in the big apple?
nyc, here i come.
01 January 2007
things i've learned in 2006
- being away from home makes you realise just how much a product of your parents you really are. even when you don't want to admit it.
- choose your flatmates carefully.
- sometimes you can't make it on your own. but a lot of times, you can.
- be careful whose advice you heed. if the person giving advice doesn't understand where you're coming from or how you live, then his opinion isn't worth your time. especially if he doesn't make the effort to recognise your differences.
- people disappoint. accept it, live with it, move on.
- no matter how hard you try, you're going to lose some friends along the way.
- pay attention to your dreams. they can be scaringly accurate.
- some people don't understand love, and there is nothing you can do to change that. not even when you love them beyond reason.
- there will always be regrets. the best you can do is learn from them.
- don't expect to get the credit you deserve. but don't let other people convince you you're not good enough, either. you know yourself better than they do.
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