*sigh*

i want to give up. actually, i've pretty much given up. and yet, here i am, still wondering what i should do next.

let's go through the facts.

1. i hate my current (and soon to be former) job.
2. i turned down one reasonably good job offer. (architectural post, simple job but good pay)
   
3. i have one standing job offer. (architectural post with better pay but maybe worse hours)
4. i have applied for aonther job for which i am awaiting a response. (editorial post in an architectural magazine. no idea about pay or hours.)
   
5. i have a valid work pass until 16 november, which allows me to stay on this island until then, plus two weeks on a tourist visa.
   
6. i am waiting for the outcome of my PR application, which, if approved, should come around 06 november. this will allow me to stay for five years, and opens up multiple employment opportunities in any field.
   

i've gone through the possible scenarios so many times, my head hurts. and my friends have probably had it up to HERE listening to me over-analyse the situation. i guess the question now is, should i play it safe or take the risk? i turned down the first offer on the pretext of better job opportunities, while the truth is i was just being crazy and imagining i'll land my dream job. so now i have to respond to the second offer after the weekend (we can't make them wait too long now, can we?) and commit to a decision. shall i be boring, and as a consequence, miserable by making a 'practical' decision? or shall i act out my true nature and do something that the rest of the world (i.e. family) would deem insane?

friends who know me well (i.e. over five years) opt for the latter. honestly, that's what i would want to do as well. but the truth of the matter is, i'm 28, an immigrant in a foreign land, with no idea how long i can stay here as an unemployed resident, and the burden of 'acting responsibly' rests heavily on my shoulders.

then again. i'm 28, and this may be my last chance to do something this drastic.

heart VS mind. story of my life. oh, the drama.