*sigh*

i think i'm falling in love again. and this time, i think it's for real. for good. forever.

maybe i'm being a silly hopeless romantic. maybe i'm diving off the deep end again. after all, we've only been seeing each other for two weeks. and now i'm on the other side of the south china sea. who's to say that this will work out? odds are against it, if you look at the physical evidence. but i think i've already started banking on its success. i want this one to work out. i really do.

maybe i'm getting old. maybe i'm tired of looking around. maybe i've had enough of heartbreak. all i know is, none of my previous relationships have ever felt so... un-doomed. then again, all my previous relationships were pretty much against socially-acceptable norms (according to my family).

although we agreed to keep an open mind about our relationship - to not block out the possibility of finding someone else - i'm inclined to put all my efforts into making this one last. i know i said i don't want to commit, i don't want to tie myself down by being exclusive... but to be honest, i want to. i want to be only with him, and not with anyone else. i guess you can say i've found 'the one'. but i know myself well enough to say that it might just be the 'honeymoon phase' - that time during the start of a relationship when everything seems rosey and you can't get enough of the man you're with. so i'm thinking i should give myself some time. perhaps someone else will come along. who knows? i've been surprised more than once in my life.

but - cliche as it may sound - i've never felt this way before. which is why i think this is it. and the irony of it all is... i met him over twelve years ago.