on dating

presently, i am dating two men. on two different continents. i don't know how it happened. okay, maybe i DO know how it happened. but by no means did i consciously bring about the current situation.

so there is the guy back home. who only verbalised his interest THE DAY I FLEW OUT OF THE COUNTRY. in fact, just three hours before my flight. talk about last minute.

then there is the guy over here. who has not said anything indicative of a move towards a serious relationship (unlike local guy). but from what i see, is still somewhat interested. based on the good-bye kiss on the cheek last monday.

now the dilemma is... do i put one on hold, call one quits, or just keep going? local guy knows about international guy, but not vice versa. i've known the former about half a year longer. but i will be spending more time with the latter in the next six months. and the way things are going... i'm liking the here-and-now guy more and more. but logically, the far-and-away boy is the more stable choice. i'm in quite a pickle here.

i told myself not to expect much from the foreigner. i mean, dating to him (and the likes of him) is not exactly commitment-bound. it's just hanging out with someone you are either 1. attracted to; or 2. comfortable around. i would say it's more the latter than the former. i'm not getting my hopes up, because i don't want my heart shattered.

but of course, the stupid girl in me just keeps falling for him more each day.

why go for someone who will most likely break your heart, when you have someone else willing to wait for you? i suppose it's the allure of the unfamiliar. the attraction of the forbidden. lord knows my parents will have a conniption when they find out i have a caucasian boyfriend. IF that happens. which, again, is entirely up to the boy.

i never thought i'd be in a position where i'd have to choose between two men. (well, there was even a third person, but he really wasn't a choice for me. but i digress.) i guess moving away was all i needed to get my romantic life in high gear.

and i say - full speed ahead.