relationships are tricky things. take mr now. we're friends - there's no question about that. are we good friends? maybe. i'd put him on the same level as my teammates - more or less. (keep in mind that i spend a lot of time with the latter.) are we dating? hm. i think so. but not a very regular basis, i would say. am i being sized up for girlfriend material? lord knows what the guy is thinking in THAT respect. interpret the data for me, please.
spent a night listening to old-school jazz in his favorite weekend pub. other colleagues left early, and we were the only two people left from the group. when the band finished their third and last set, we got up to leave. he has struck up a conversation with an older man, and as i stood next to him, this man started talking to me as well. it so happens that he has friends visiting that weekend, who were in the same venue. he went over to the back room to pay courtesies, left me with the older man - who also asked me to stay, anyway. then meantime guy came back, and asked me to go with him so he can introduce me to his mates. (the older guy tried to detain me again, but of course, he was just teasing.) so i met some of his childhood buddies. then we left, and he walked me to the tube station. once we got near the station, i turned and gave him a good-bye kiss on the cheek, then walked over to the other side of the road.
"it used to be two!" he remarked.
i turned and smiled. "oh, alright." (for the record, it was never two kisses with him.)
i walked back to him and gave him a peck on the other cheek. then summarily turned around and walked into the station without looking back.
the following evening he started chatting me up on instant messenger, and said, "we will have to arrange for that dinner."
"dinner?" i asked.
he was referring to our discussion on the guest bed he and his flatmate have constructed. "it's just too good not to show off," he says.
he was about to scratch the plans when i had asked what he meant about dinner. i expressed interest, and he said he'll have to check his flatmate's schedule. so potential dinner at his place. with or without his flatmate, i do not know.
then there is the movie tomorrow eve. with other friends, of course. it's actually just a spontaneous hang-out together kind of thing. (it was supposed to be for tonight, but it got pushed back for tomorrow.) anyway, we seem to be spending more time together this year. hrm.
could it be that i am moving up the relationship ladder?
10 February 2006
06 February 2006
again again again...
hay buhay.
after being away from my flat for ten days, i come home to find it in greater disarray than when i left. surprise surprise.
the toilet bowl has evolved from deep yellow to dark brown.
the kitchen - again - has unwashed dishes.
and the bathroom. egads. you do not want to go there.
and may i note that someone has taken over my corner of the tub. the spot where i put my shower necessities. hrmph. this calls for immediate action, i thought.
i shoved aside the bottles invading my space... lo and behold. muck underneath. a good dose of bleach is in order.
the toilet bowl suffered the same fate, i'm afraid.
but the dishes. oh, this is the best.
i took them away and placed them in my flatmate's room.
and she washed them the following day.
ah, sweet victory. (have to give credit to meantime guy. it was his idea.)
slowly but surely, i am cleaning up the flat. again.
i cleared the junk mail from foyer console. (if you can actually call it that. it stores shoes at the bottom.) of course, i had to re-align the furniture. and in the process, i broke an old flourescent bulb that has been sitting there since we moved in. (don't ask my WHY the landlord did not take it out in the first place. or why anyone ELSE hasn't, for that matter.) so, in cleaning up the mess i made, i eventually vacuumed the whole flat. well, the common areas, anyway. toilet, bathroom, kitchen. you would not BELIEVE the amount of ick i had to go through.
that which does not kill you... only makes you grossed out.
i am SO looking forward to living on my own. or with NEATER flatmates.
after being away from my flat for ten days, i come home to find it in greater disarray than when i left. surprise surprise.
the toilet bowl has evolved from deep yellow to dark brown.
the kitchen - again - has unwashed dishes.
and the bathroom. egads. you do not want to go there.
and may i note that someone has taken over my corner of the tub. the spot where i put my shower necessities. hrmph. this calls for immediate action, i thought.
i shoved aside the bottles invading my space... lo and behold. muck underneath. a good dose of bleach is in order.
the toilet bowl suffered the same fate, i'm afraid.
but the dishes. oh, this is the best.
i took them away and placed them in my flatmate's room.
and she washed them the following day.
ah, sweet victory. (have to give credit to meantime guy. it was his idea.)
slowly but surely, i am cleaning up the flat. again.
i cleared the junk mail from foyer console. (if you can actually call it that. it stores shoes at the bottom.) of course, i had to re-align the furniture. and in the process, i broke an old flourescent bulb that has been sitting there since we moved in. (don't ask my WHY the landlord did not take it out in the first place. or why anyone ELSE hasn't, for that matter.) so, in cleaning up the mess i made, i eventually vacuumed the whole flat. well, the common areas, anyway. toilet, bathroom, kitchen. you would not BELIEVE the amount of ick i had to go through.
that which does not kill you... only makes you grossed out.
i am SO looking forward to living on my own. or with NEATER flatmates.
30 January 2006
unreadable
i pride myself in being able to understand (i.e. read) people well. but this guy is just really giving me a run for my money.
yes, it's the guy i've dated over the past few months. mr here-and-now. he is what my friend would call my "meantime" guy. and i think i am his "meantime" gal, as well.
one night, in a pub, admidst beers and loud american pop music, (i think) i heard him say "my wife once called me..."
"your WHAT?!?!" my mind was screaming. either he was drunk, i was deaf, or he was really trying to tell me something. and the irony of it all, he was checking up on my emotional state the night before. (i was suffering from PMS depression, and had a sobbing fit for a while. he saw me at some point.) my heart flip-flopped (literally) and i felt my face getting warm. but he was too preoccupied to notice, thank god.
what is it with me and men??? i always end up with those who are totally wrong for me. and the saddest part is, i fall for them. pretty hard. and though i tell myself to keep things simple, i find myself liking this guy even more each day. some things you never learn.
you want to know what the even bigger irony is? HE was the reason i fell into a depressive fit. but of course, i didn't tell him that. because that would mean admitting he meant more to me than i let on. and as long as he thinks i'm emotionally detached, i'm safe.
he still takes me out for coffee. he still gives me goodbye-kisses on the cheek, when not many people are around.
of course, i still let him.
yes, it's the guy i've dated over the past few months. mr here-and-now. he is what my friend would call my "meantime" guy. and i think i am his "meantime" gal, as well.
one night, in a pub, admidst beers and loud american pop music, (i think) i heard him say "my wife once called me..."
"your WHAT?!?!" my mind was screaming. either he was drunk, i was deaf, or he was really trying to tell me something. and the irony of it all, he was checking up on my emotional state the night before. (i was suffering from PMS depression, and had a sobbing fit for a while. he saw me at some point.) my heart flip-flopped (literally) and i felt my face getting warm. but he was too preoccupied to notice, thank god.
what is it with me and men??? i always end up with those who are totally wrong for me. and the saddest part is, i fall for them. pretty hard. and though i tell myself to keep things simple, i find myself liking this guy even more each day. some things you never learn.
you want to know what the even bigger irony is? HE was the reason i fell into a depressive fit. but of course, i didn't tell him that. because that would mean admitting he meant more to me than i let on. and as long as he thinks i'm emotionally detached, i'm safe.
he still takes me out for coffee. he still gives me goodbye-kisses on the cheek, when not many people are around.
of course, i still let him.
26 January 2006
on dating
presently, i am dating two men. on two different continents. i don't know how it happened. okay, maybe i DO know how it happened. but by no means did i consciously bring about the current situation.
so there is the guy back home. who only verbalised his interest THE DAY I FLEW OUT OF THE COUNTRY. in fact, just three hours before my flight. talk about last minute.
then there is the guy over here. who has not said anything indicative of a move towards a serious relationship (unlike local guy). but from what i see, is still somewhat interested. based on the good-bye kiss on the cheek last monday.
now the dilemma is... do i put one on hold, call one quits, or just keep going? local guy knows about international guy, but not vice versa. i've known the former about half a year longer. but i will be spending more time with the latter in the next six months. and the way things are going... i'm liking the here-and-now guy more and more. but logically, the far-and-away boy is the more stable choice. i'm in quite a pickle here.
i told myself not to expect much from the foreigner. i mean, dating to him (and the likes of him) is not exactly commitment-bound. it's just hanging out with someone you are either 1. attracted to; or 2. comfortable around. i would say it's more the latter than the former. i'm not getting my hopes up, because i don't want my heart shattered.
but of course, the stupid girl in me just keeps falling for him more each day.
why go for someone who will most likely break your heart, when you have someone else willing to wait for you? i suppose it's the allure of the unfamiliar. the attraction of the forbidden. lord knows my parents will have a conniption when they find out i have a caucasian boyfriend. IF that happens. which, again, is entirely up to the boy.
i never thought i'd be in a position where i'd have to choose between two men. (well, there was even a third person, but he really wasn't a choice for me. but i digress.) i guess moving away was all i needed to get my romantic life in high gear.
and i say - full speed ahead.
so there is the guy back home. who only verbalised his interest THE DAY I FLEW OUT OF THE COUNTRY. in fact, just three hours before my flight. talk about last minute.
then there is the guy over here. who has not said anything indicative of a move towards a serious relationship (unlike local guy). but from what i see, is still somewhat interested. based on the good-bye kiss on the cheek last monday.
now the dilemma is... do i put one on hold, call one quits, or just keep going? local guy knows about international guy, but not vice versa. i've known the former about half a year longer. but i will be spending more time with the latter in the next six months. and the way things are going... i'm liking the here-and-now guy more and more. but logically, the far-and-away boy is the more stable choice. i'm in quite a pickle here.
i told myself not to expect much from the foreigner. i mean, dating to him (and the likes of him) is not exactly commitment-bound. it's just hanging out with someone you are either 1. attracted to; or 2. comfortable around. i would say it's more the latter than the former. i'm not getting my hopes up, because i don't want my heart shattered.
but of course, the stupid girl in me just keeps falling for him more each day.
why go for someone who will most likely break your heart, when you have someone else willing to wait for you? i suppose it's the allure of the unfamiliar. the attraction of the forbidden. lord knows my parents will have a conniption when they find out i have a caucasian boyfriend. IF that happens. which, again, is entirely up to the boy.
i never thought i'd be in a position where i'd have to choose between two men. (well, there was even a third person, but he really wasn't a choice for me. but i digress.) i guess moving away was all i needed to get my romantic life in high gear.
and i say - full speed ahead.
14 January 2006
you cannot escape your fate
oh yes. i am maid for life. (note the pun.)
i left home and a life of cooking and, well, cooking (alright, occasional cleaning) to enter into a life of cooking (for myself), washing (my laundry) and cleaning up after flatmates. oh what joy.
i swear, if i weren't here, the bubonic plague would start recurring in london. starting from our kitchen.
SHE leaves dishes unwashed for a week. and pots and pans, as well. some days, when she's feeling either: a. really industrious; or b. really smart (-assed, as i would put it), she RINSES the GREASY cookware and puts them back on the shelf. way to go, einstein. that will REALLY do the trick.
i never thought i'd have problems with sanitation with a female. then again. she probably grew up being waited on hand and foot. plus she's the youngest in the apartment. not that it's a valid excuse, but it could explain a few things. the boys, in the meantime, are neat, but they don't exert extra effort to keep things under wraps. whereas I, the maid of all maids, clean the kitchen and the bathrooms before they start showing primitive life forms.
i cleaned the whole place (well, almost. did a good job in the kitchen, anyway.) before i went home for a holiday. (which was not actually much of a holiday, but that's another story.) when i came back after three weeks, lo and behold, all my good work undone. unwashed dishes sitting around. AGAIN. oven filled with layers of grease, grime, and lord-knows-what-else.
i did some cosmetic cleaning this afternoon. (just the kitchen, of course. i dare not touch the bathroom anymore.) i leave for germany tomorrow. i shudder to think what state the flat will be in upon my return. definitely not cleaner than when i left it. that is a non-question.
eight more months of this horror. i know i've got super powers, but this is a bit much. please, save me.
i left home and a life of cooking and, well, cooking (alright, occasional cleaning) to enter into a life of cooking (for myself), washing (my laundry) and cleaning up after flatmates. oh what joy.
i swear, if i weren't here, the bubonic plague would start recurring in london. starting from our kitchen.
SHE leaves dishes unwashed for a week. and pots and pans, as well. some days, when she's feeling either: a. really industrious; or b. really smart (-assed, as i would put it), she RINSES the GREASY cookware and puts them back on the shelf. way to go, einstein. that will REALLY do the trick.
i never thought i'd have problems with sanitation with a female. then again. she probably grew up being waited on hand and foot. plus she's the youngest in the apartment. not that it's a valid excuse, but it could explain a few things. the boys, in the meantime, are neat, but they don't exert extra effort to keep things under wraps. whereas I, the maid of all maids, clean the kitchen and the bathrooms before they start showing primitive life forms.
i cleaned the whole place (well, almost. did a good job in the kitchen, anyway.) before i went home for a holiday. (which was not actually much of a holiday, but that's another story.) when i came back after three weeks, lo and behold, all my good work undone. unwashed dishes sitting around. AGAIN. oven filled with layers of grease, grime, and lord-knows-what-else.
i did some cosmetic cleaning this afternoon. (just the kitchen, of course. i dare not touch the bathroom anymore.) i leave for germany tomorrow. i shudder to think what state the flat will be in upon my return. definitely not cleaner than when i left it. that is a non-question.
eight more months of this horror. i know i've got super powers, but this is a bit much. please, save me.
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